Would you be buying this “smart condom” that tracks your sexual performance like a Fitbit?

The people at British Condoms have taken wearable technology further into bedrooms with the launch of a new product that will help you track how well or badly you perform in bedroom activities; and give you the opportunity to share with your social media followers.

Status update: You grinded on for 10 minutes 35 seconds and you burnt 1,500 kcal while at it 

OR

Status update: In the month of November, you successfully used the wheelbarrow, doggy, spoon and cowgirl positions. Well done. See how you compare with other men in your social circle. 

We can’t tell how cool this is but before you get any misconceptions, know that this “smart condom” is not actually a condom. According to the product description, the i.Con is “a ring that will sit over a condom at the base, which you can use over and over again”.

The product which will retail at £59.99 (about N30,000 if you’re ordering from Nigeria) records “calories burnt during sexual intercourse, speed of thrusts, total number of thrusts, frequency of sessions, total duration of sessions, average velocity of thrusts and different positions used”.

Wondering how exactly it works? 

The website says it utilises “a Nano-chip and sensors, i.Con will measure and remember a number  of different variables during your sessions. Once your session is completed, you will then be able to use the i.Con app to download your recent data which is paired to the device using Bluetooth technology. Once you have downloaded your data, the i.Con will automatically clear its memory making way for your next session”.

And of course, it comes with a USB port that allows it to you charge it. Actually, the product boasts 6-8 hours of ‘live’ usage. Errrr, so we’re guessing if you go on for that long, then you’re covered?

So would you be putting your money on this one?

We’re certain we just heard someone scream…

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