You know what’s worse than Lagos tailors? Lagos hairstylists. Most people think there is nothing worse than Lagos tailors, with their constant string of lies and disappointments, but surprise, the hairstylists are way worse, and we have proof.
If you haven’t realized how evil they are before, we’ve run down a list of lies they tell that prevent us from reaching optimum slayage levels with our hair.
- The style will fit you/The hair is fine.
For me, this is the worst one. Especially after you’ve already gotten the hair done. What’s worse is that other hairstylists and customers in the salon will also join in convincing you that the hair actually looks good. So you go home, and don’t realize what a state your hair is in, until you go to work the next day and a coworker asks you what’s on your head.
- It won’t cut your hair.
Whether they are trying to convince you to do impossibly tiny braids that are sure to take out your whole front-line, or trying to get you to do that weird lace bonding thing. They will always tell you it won’t cut your hair knowing fully well it would.
- The hair you bought is the fake one.
Even before they bring it out of the pack, or even when they’ve never seen it before, whatever hair you bought is fake. And the only way the hairstyle you want to do can look good is if you buy the one they recommend, which is usually available in their salon or a neighbouring one.
- I’m almost done just sit down and wait.
Even if they are just starting with whoever is in their chair, the story is always the same. ”The style won’t take long” or ”I’m almost done just wait.”
- It won’t hurt.
This is popular for the hairstylists who specialise in braiding hair. It’s either “my hand doesn’t pain” or “it won’t pain you like that”. Until you get started, and the pain that hits you is on birthing levels but you are already stuck with the stylist.
- It isn’t dry yet.
Every single time a hairstylist sticks your head in a dryer, chances are the hair is completely dry in about a quarter of the time they claim it takes. But for some reason -probably just to torture us-, they choose to keeps us under the scorching hot dryers forever.
- You hair is due.
Translation- I just want you to pay more money for this hairstyle you are about to do.
- You need to buy this serum for your weave.
According to them, there is nothing that doesn’t need serum. From natural to synthetic weaves and even your own hair, you just need to buy serum for it. Notice how they never know what exactly the serum does for your hair?