Aku Eni writes: Being attractive starts with loving yourself

When I was fourteen, I read an article in one of those silly women’s magazines that tell you how to keep a man and how to be attractive. I was young and impressionable and took the words of that article to heart. According to the piece, to be attractive I had to stay in shape, be feminine, know how to cook, stop cussing, not use too much makeup, the list was endless.

At fourteen I was just discovering boys -I was a late bloomer-, so I tried to live by the article. I was sure if I did, the boys will come through in hoards. They did, but it turned out to be my milkshakes attracting them, and not any of the other rules I had been following so religiously.

It took me several years, but I finally realized that not only was that article unbelievably sexist and misogynist but it was also completely bollocks. I first realized it when my father left my mother who could be defined as the perfect embodiment of the words of that article, and after several failed relationships were I had basically been a walk over, because it was “attractive”.

It took me some time, but I finally figured how to be attractive; be you, completely and unapologetically. Be goofy, or serious or sporty, or girly whatever it is, whoever you are there is nothing more attractive than that. I know that looks like it was pulled out of one of those self help books that tell you to love yourself, and maybe it was, but the truth is, it works.

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