Most people would decide to marry someone because of chemistry and compatibility. But the truth is that you can be compatible with anyone you choose to be compatible with. Compatibility is something that we can find more often in other people than we can with chemistry. So, how do you decide that this one person is the one who is definitely the most compatible person for you to be with than anyone else?
You are two unique individuals coming as one to build a future and a life together. And yes, neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? What is it about your partner that differentiates him from all the other guys you could be with? Is it because you bring out the best in each other? Is it because you complement each other? What brings you to this relationship and what do you bring to the relationship that you feel you cannot get with anyone else?
There can never be a sturdy house without a proper foundation. The same goes with marriage. Many people marry without good or deep knowledge about their partners and fail to see beyond the beautiful exterior or physique or emotional pretense to see the importance of true compatibility. We want a marriage with good foundation such as these:
Intellectual oneness. You need to be able to communicate on the same intellectual level. Intellectual oneness does not have to mean you both have to have the same level of education or have studied the same subjects in school or University. It is deeper than just your educational background. When there is a lack of intellectual connection, it is much easier for misunderstandings to occur because communication becomes narrow, as one party is unable to grasp what the other is saying.
Social oneness. This talk about the kinds of activities you like (i.e. music you enjoy, the kinds of parties you attend, the hobbies you have, etc.). Again, this does not mean that you must have the same exact interests and hobbies because it isn’t about finding a carbon copy of us, but some form of commonalities must be there. Although it is definitely true that opposites attract, when it comes to marriage not every opposites can live in harmony all the time. If he never changes, will you still be able to live with him? Think about it.
Spiritual oneness. Spirituality does not have to only be around religious beliefs as two people of different religions can still have spiritual oneness. Do you share the same beliefs? Can you see yourself and your partner growing together, spiritually? Or do you instead find that your beliefs create conflicts in the relationship?
Physical oneness. As much as emotional oneness is vital, it is still very important that you both are attracted to each other. Do you find each other physically attractive? Can you also accept the physical flaws your partner may have?
Now, after these questions and a simple understanding to some of the most basic foundations to a successful marriage, answer this question honestly: is he your compatible partner? If there is even a shrivel of doubt and you think that he isn’t ‘the one’ for you, do not force yourself into this relationship. Do not lie to yourself. Pretense will only lead to a failed relationship. It is important for you to be honest with yourself before stepping into something that is and should be ever lasting such as marriage. Remember that honesty is the best foundation to a marriage.