We found this hilarious post on Party Jollof.com and decided to share it with you as well, enjoy the piece below:
THE BRIDE’S OUTFITS CAN BE UP TO FIVE. FOR A START.
THE BRIDE’S ACCESSORIES CAN PAY FOR THE WHOLE WEDDING.
YOU TAKE THE ‘ASO-EBI’ EVEN MORE SERIOUSLY THAN THE WEDDING VOWS.
THEY CANNOT EVEN USE ANYTHING – LEAST OF ALL, WEDDING – TO PLAY WITH YORUBA BOYS.
NIGERIANS SPEND ALL THEIR TIME WORKING HARD, BECAUSE THEY ARE SAVING ALL THEIR ENERGY FOR THAT DANCE-FLOOR TURN UP.
IT ALWAYS APPEARS AS IF THE MOTHER ONLY JUST SUDDENLY REALISED THAT HER DAUGHTER IS GOING AWAY WITH A MAB.
AND, AFTER SPENDING ALL THAT MONEY, THE HUSBAND-TO-BE SOMETIMES MAKES THE MISTAKE OF THINKING ABOUT THE BUDGET BEFORE THE PARTY IS OVER.
AND WHO BORN YOUR FATHER WELL TO SHOW UP WITH MONEY THAT DRY-CLEANER HAS NOT TOUCHED?
WE NO LONGER KNOW WHO IS WEDDING ON THE DAY – THE COUPLE OR THE CAKE?
EVERYTHING IS DRAMA. NOTHING CAN HAPPEN THAT DOESN’T NEED REHEARSAL.
WE DON’T CARE IF YOUR FATHER’S NAME IS DONALD, OR YOUR HOMETOWN IS SOMEWHERE IN DENMARK. YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM OUR BACKYARD, YOU BETTER BEG FOR IT WITH ALL YOUR LIFE.
FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN ENDED, KINGDOMS HAVE BEEN CLOSED DOWN, LITTLE BABIES HAVE BEEN SENTENCED TO LIFE IMPRISONMENT BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER’S FIRST COUSIN FROM HER FATHER’S SIDE DID NOT GET EXTRA MEET AT YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER’S WEDDING.
THE ONLY THING REMAINING FOR PEOPLE TO BRING AS GIFTS TO THESE WEDDINGS IS A NEWLY BUILT DUPLEX.
FORGET YOUR GUEST LIST. FORGET THE RSVP. EVEN ZAPHAIRRE EVENTS CANNOT HELP YOU. PEOPLE YOU DID NOT INVITE MUST SURELY COME TO PASS. THEY WILL FIND THEIR WAY IN.
THE QUALITY OF THE SOUVENIR IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE LIFE.
YOUR AUNTIES AND UNCLES NEVER SEEM TO KNOW THIS IS YOUR WEDDING, NOT THEIR ANNUAL I-AM-STILL-ALIVE REMEMBRANCE.
