As part of some sort of self improvement scheme, I took up the popular thirty day squat challenge. You know how it goes, it was part of the new month, new me pep talk a lot of us give ourselves at the beginning of every month when we’ve still not set out to achieve the goals we had mapped out for ourselves at the beginning of the year. Well one of mine as shallow as it might sound, was to do my squats religiously and finally get myself the nice round ass God in his infinite wisdom had not endowed me with. I was somehow convinced I could attain this body beautiful by doing about a hundred squats a day.
The first day of the month, I was all fired up to go, I was meant to do fifty squats, I woke up bright and early, hit play on the playlist I had specially curated for the thirty day challenge and got pumping. I did all fifty, and could definitely feel the burn, but I was sure it was something I would quickly get used to.
I woke up the next day feeling like I had ran relay with weights tied to my tights the night before, but through determination and a couple of minutes spent stalking Mo’Cheddah’s account, I got up and somehow managed to go through the 55 squats I had to do for the day. This time there was no ‘burn’, the only thing I felt was pain each time I had to seat or climb the staircase or even move my legs.
Against all odds, I made it to the ninth day where I was supposed to do a hundred, I hit the 53rd squat, and tried to stand up when my knees got wobbly and I landed flat on my ass. In the nine days I had been doing the squats, that wouldn’t be the first time I would fall, in fact, it was probably the least embarrassing incident I had gone through during the period (I did a little tumble and roll the first time). But on this ninth day, on my fifty third squat and fourth fall, I finally said abeg abeg abeg, I’m not doing again.
I just couldn’t get used to how much wahala it actually took for me to go through the daily routine, I know they say no pain, no gain but my fit fam friends also promised I would get used to and even come to enjoy the ‘burn’. I kept hearing about this rewarding ‘burn’ I was supposed to be feeling and waited patiently for nine days, but the only thing I felt was the blood, sweat and tears streaming down my face each time I had to do my squats.
I came to realise of course, days after I gave up, after everything had finally stopped aching that I gave up too early, and if I had trudged on for a couple of weeks I would have seen some real changes. But I also realised that they sell pretty good butt pads these days. Anyone know where I can get a nice one?