I was having a conversation with Osaretin and Moyo -who are two of my most hilarious friends- yesterday and we got talking about all the things guys wished they could tell us but don’t and can’t because well they love their relationships -and lives.
We talked about everything from personal styles to Snapchat habits, anyway so with their permission I decided to post most of the conversation almost exactly how it occurred.
Disclaimer: This post doesn’t aim to dictate how ladies should live their lives, it’s just two people talking about their likes and dislikes -on behalf of all men. So if you are easily offended or don’t have a sense of humor, you probably shouldn’t read on.
Moyo: I hate it when girls wear skinny jeans with peep toe heels. It just looks so wrong, like it doesn’t look classy at all. If you are going to wear heels with skinny jeans, stick to those two strap ones.
Osa: Yup, yup I agree. Talking about things we don’t like, I don’t like nude lipstick. It makes people look sickly, but that’s just me sha. Oh and you guys have over used the dog face filter on snapchat. Also staring at your camera and playing music in the background isn’t sexy at all. It gets creepy after the sixth one.
Me: Ok I have to agree with the dog face filter thing, it needs to stop
Moyo: You know what else I don’t like? Those rings you guys put in the middle of your nose.
Me: What? Septum rings?
Moyo: Ehen it’s in no way, shape or form fine please. Especially when you are just not…you get…fine. And then if you are going to do your nails, don’t do red then white then green on the same hand. Are you a Christmas tree?
Osa: Why do you girls call people who are not fine, fine? Because if you think you are helping the girl, you are not. You’ll just be gassing up the babe to think she’s Rihanna or a bad bitch. You are doing her more harm than good oh.
Moyo: Oh yeah, another important one. You guys should not spring pixie cuts on us. A guy would be feeling you with your weave or natural hair, you’ll now go and do that thing.
Me: Wait, you guys don’t like short hair? Not even on Rihanna?
Osa: She’s Rihanna, she gets a pass. Short hair is nice…if you are the lesbian captain of an Asian, all female soccer team.
Me: Jesus
Moyo: Not to be insensitive, but uh some girls need to wax their arms.
Osa: I guess they can’t help it, it’s genetic and all. But how do you want me to feel when you touch my face and your arm hair gets tangled in my glasses and carries it. Oh yeah also, I’m tall so I’m good but you girls need to stop hating on short guys. They’ll go the extra mile to prove themselves. Ask Moyo he’s short he should know.
Moyo: Better pray that height won’t be all you’re known for Osaretin. Anyway I forgot, the accent thing you guys do in Snapchat videos, please stop it. What’s hey snapcharrr, it’s a T at the end now.
Osa: It’s the same girl doing the accent that will shout “Aunty Eno that ponmo wey you give me last time no sweet o”