The Perfect Gentleman: This Is What To Do When Love Fluctuates In Your Relationship

Continued from here.

Before you hastily rush to change your relationship status to ‘single’ or ‘in an open relationship’, why don’t you spare 10 minutes to read this piece, mull on it, and decide afterwards if you want to fight, run or persevere.

Does love really fluctuate? I think it does, for me at least, and every other man I know.

Love tends to fluctuate over weeks, months, and years. Basically, over time. Even in one day or an hour, love can and does fluctuate.

The fluctuation does not mean that love disappears from the relationship. It is natural for love to fluctuate from time to time in human relationships, whether we want it or not, like it or not.

What do you do people, when love fluctuates? How do you react when the feelings of affection temporarily waivers?

How will you respond to the inevitable phenomenon called “fluctuation”? What will you do when sh*t hits the fan in your relationship?

Would you lock up shop and throw away the key? Would you quit trying and assume the relationship to be dead?

Would you run away, fret away like a scared chick, or stand and fight?

You say, “Oh, I’m not in love with you anymore. My feelings for you has changed, that is why I am divorcing you. I just know how I feel today is how I’m going to feel the rest of my life and I deserve to be happy.”

Wait a minute! Why not fight for your love, fight for your union together?

Scratch that! You don’t even have to fight. You don’t have to battle nothing to keep your relationship from going awry.

All you have to do is persevere, persevere, and persevere.

Patience and perseverance, – virtues we unfortunately have in short supply in our midst as humans – is the key to a lasting love affair.

It is common knowledge that patience which we lack is the key to the longevity of any relationship, and any association of any kind with anybody for that matter.

My friends, it’s as easy as that. A little patience, a little perseverance = a long solid relationship.

I know, it’s easier said than done. I know because i tell myself this all the time, and i know for a fact that patience and perseverance are virtues that are less inherent in the male gender, which i am unapologetically.

Women, on the other hand do try to persevere until they get filled with our crap, and like humans that they are, subsequently throw in the towel.

Love fluctuates, we panic, we get antsy, we scheme, we hatch plots, we get suspicious and paranoid, and we get worried. We do things to further worsen the temporary situation of ‘fluctuation’, when the most appropriate course of action would have been inaction.

Don’t do nothing, don’t stress, just chill.

Just a little patience, a little trust, a little understanding, ultimately, perseverance. Just because your partner’s head is not in the game doesn’t mean you should quit the match.

Just because he/she is probably distracted by issues that are quite more important and pressing than you at that point in time does not mean they are no longer interested, or in love with you. It’s just a little fluctuation.

Love- which we ignorantly do not realise-, like all things of our universe, is subject to change and the law of gravity, and it will most definitely change (fluctuate) from time to time.

Once we are armed with this knowledge, once we are ready to embrace this fact and stop being in denial about the phenomenon of fluctuation, relationships will last longer, love unions will blossom and flourish, marriages will fail less.

Kolapo Olapoju

Kolapo Olapoju is the editor of He is a creative writer, poet and entrepreneur. He develops content for web, print and TV. His works have been published in Glam & Essence magazine, YNaija, Nigerian Entertainment today (NET), Tuck Magazine and many others. His poetry has been published on and in anthologies like ‘Upcoming Voices’ by Society of Young Nigerian writers and ’2014 Annual Poets Showcase’ by Poetry First Publishing. He tweets from @hardrockyng

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